so everything appears rosy on the surface but beneath that there is a sense of fear...
isolation, loneliness, insecurity...
is this real.
gettin close to other people is always a risky move because you become open and vulnerable! it is nearly always accompanied by hurt. not always intensional hurt from the offending party.
with closeness comes an expectation... love, a degree of commitment, loyalty, trust, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, mindfulness... and alot of time these are the exact reasons we feel hurt and insecure... because people will always fall short of our expectations.
do they really like me? are they really thinking bout me as much as i am of them? is this real? WHAT do they think of me? will they forget about me?
friendships ARE tough.
my fear is based in human rejection, loneliness, isolation, people i love 'moving on'
my fear is not being accepted by the person or people i most long to be accepted by.
my fear is about getting so close to someONE that i loose track of and neglect everyone else around me
i have many acquaintances but very few friends.
heard a quote... 'true friends are those who stick with you, ever after they no everything about you'
my fear... to be an unhealthy influence on someone.
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Thats my house in the Background
Some thoughts from the confusion that is buff
Me
Thats my house in the Background
About Me
- Buff
- 25~Live in South Belfast~Youth Worker~Play Bass~Needa go to the gym more~Bearded~pierced~tattoed
1 comment:
i guess you know already what im gonna say... but its harder sometimes than it sounds..
in an ideal world, we should fear God, and if we fear God we would be living right and need not fear anything else, friendships are tough and i will say what i feel, we arent as close as we were back in the days. And i don't know if we should blame anyone or anything for the reason why it happened. It's the lonliness thats the killer, you know a decent bit of my story, and the loneliness still kills me sometimes, but i have learnt to bask and make the most of the solitude... what Monk sed on sat night, kinda linked to the way i thought.
To conclude (this is the short version), the closer we draw to One person we need not fear. For ALL will fall into line, just like the universe in its chaotic order. It all works but we cant figure out how (well we can but thats not what i mean, lol)
Take some time away, not to a quiet place, but to a busy city. Surround yourself by strangers and then you will realize when you come back about the ppl around you
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